


consciousness lays in your smile

by kwitegay



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, One Shot, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-18
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2020-01-16 02:07:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18511726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kwitegay/pseuds/kwitegay
Summary: Alex tries to confess his feelings to James.





	consciousness lays in your smile

Falling in love with James wasn't a conscious decision, Alex realizes. He didn't want to, to say the least.

Endless compilations were on YouTube of his friend making loving looks at him, "James staring at Alex compilations" and "James and Alex being gay" etc.

He doesn't have a problem with them, he is indeed bisexual, but the fact that he'd begun to have real feelings for him felt like a fuck you from God.

He couldn't help it. James is funny and thoughtful and handsome and such a dork- Alex thinks he's a gift of some sort.

James likes to make jokes about being in love with Alex in videos and on the podcast, but when Alex would make them back- he wasn't joking.

"James," Alex starts, picking at his sleeve and avoiding eye contact. "I feel like I'm lying to you."

"What, are you stealing my adsense or something?" James jokes, but the smile on his face fades when he sees tears well in his friends eyes. "Alex, whoa-"

"I didn't want to fucking cry," Alex laughs coldly, wiping his eyes and shaking his head in disdain, "God damnit."

"Alex, what's going on?" James asks, standing up from his bed and going to rest his hand on his shoulder.

Alex flinches slightly, "No, don't, it's gonna make telling you this a lot harder."

James searches his face for any signs and slowly says, "You can tell me anything, I'm your friend."

"That's the thing!" Alex exclaims, "I don't want to be just your friend."

James shakes his head in confusion, "What do you-"

"I like you, you nonce, I want to be with you, in like, a romantic way. I think about it constantly and it's such a distraction so please, please just say something to make me get over you already."

The taller's eyes are wide and lips parted, like he's trying to speak but just can't.

They stare at each other for moment, and Alex huffs a breath, going to turn away to leave, but James' hands on his face stops him.

James pauses for a moment, cold tears under his fingertips and his eyes flicker down to Alex's mouth.

He's either going to punch you or kiss you, Alex thinks.

The air between them feels thick and tense, but the second James closes the gap it feels all too bright.

James has to lean down to kiss him, and for a few seconds Alex is frozen in shock, but his eyes flutter closed and he relaxes in his touch.

His lips are soft albeit a little chapped, but Alex doesn't care because the boy he's been thinking about kissing for so long is running his hands through his hair. Kissing him felt like a blur between surreality and a euphoric explosion, and when he feels James start to pull back he just presses his lips further onto his.

The other seems to get the hint, chuckling against his lips and wrapping an arm around his waist.

They stay like that until the need for air overpowers their need to stay in their current position. Lips red from kissing and hair tousled, Alex falls into his chest and rests his head on his shoulder, “You’re an asshole.”

James laughs, “You’re saying that  _now_?”

Alex almost melts at the way his… friend? Was brushing his fingers across his back and hair. “Yeah, it took you this long to do  _that_ , and I had to cry in front of you for it to happen.”

“I’ve been waiting, too, thought I dropped enough hints for a century you cunt.”

Alex snorts, pulling back to look at James- who looked more beautiful than ever, and smiles. “I wasn’t going to confess, you know. I was just going to live with what I thought were unrequited feelings.”

“What changed your mind?”

“George.”

“Fuckin’ memeulous!” James laughs, arms dropping to his sides,  “I reckon we have to talk about what we are then?”

Alex sighs, “Yeah I guess that is the next step, huh?”

“I’d like to call you my boyfriend, but I understand if that’s too quick..”

“I’d like that as well. We should probably wait on telling people though that we aren't close to.”

They share a few more words before they decide to do something; Clubbing? Nah, they wanted to be alone right now. Movie? They’d be too distracted with each other.

They settled on just laying beside each other, limbs tangled as they exchanged stories and laughter.

Falling in love with James wasn't a conscious decision, Alex realizes, but despite that, it may have been the best thing he’s ever 


End file.
